Screenwriting for Fun... and Fun?

First I will post the obligatory picture of one of our cats, because we all know the are the real stars of this show. This is Thomas, who often, when he gets his hair trimmed, looks a bit like a lion… why this matters will become apparent.

Long ago on Twitter, I was part of a small group we called “Sketchwars”. It was so long ago I can’t even remember who else was part of it. There were weekly prompts, and we each wrote a very short sketch to the theme, posted it on our website, and linked to it. Those sketches are languishing now in a lost folder on my hard drive, and I decided I would start posting some of them here. Why? Because talented people with a smart phone can now make a movie. Directors, producers, writers and actors are all over social media… Who knows, maybe someone will see something that makes them smile, or laugh, or that simply inspires them. Maybe no one will read them at all (they ARE short, I promise). If you want to play with them, just drop me a note here, or directly, so I can see what you do with the words. The formatting does not transfer, but it’s close. Without further ado, I present … WHITE LION

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM DAY – LION ADVERTISING AGENCY

JERRY KLINE, (Balding, middle aged with thick glasses) stands at the end of a long table. Lined up at the table are a group of advertising gurus with briefcases open, laptops and smart phones lit up and sharpened pencils at the ready.

Kline turns to the whiteboard behind him.

KLINE

The key, ladies and gentlemen, is money. More to the point...

He draws a stick figure with a quick almost violent motion and then jabs the marker at board where the hip pocket should be.

KLINE (CONT'D)

THEIR money. We need it. They probably need it too, but who cares? How do we get it.

MARTINA (thin, waspish with cat's eye shaped glasses) raises a pen in the air.

MARTINA

Lie?

KLINE

Exactly. That is why we are here. We are living the lie. We are living BY the lie. We are lying to ourselves about what we do so we can justify the lie. So...feed my addiction. Give me some lies.

BART, (short, stout, late twenties w/freckles) stands up.

BART

I have an idea I'd like to share.

KLINE

I didn't ask for ideas.

BART

How about if I lie and tell you it's another lie - then present the idea?

KLINE

Interesting.

BART

I'd be lying if said I didn't think so.

MARTINA

Just tell us what you've got, Barty, we don't have all day.

BART

(winks at Martina) I think we should go a new direction with the company logo.

MARTINA

The logo?

KLINE

I hope you're lying.

Laughter ripples up and down the table. Bart ignores them.

BART

What is the one thing our clients expect of us?

KLINE

Lies.

BART

Exactly. But lately, some of that has come back to bite us in the ass. Like the time machine.

Kevin, a thin ferret-faced man in his mid forties glances up and cuts in.

KEVIN

Hey! We sold truckloads of time machines. The client couldn't be happier.

BART

There were a FEW issues with customers...we did tell them it was a time traveling device.

KLINE

It tells time.

MARTINA

It didn't travel...

KLINE

But you can travel WITH it...and hey, how about that commercial where you go to sleep, and it's one time - when you wake up? The future?

BART

In any case, we've gotten ourselves an unfortunate reputation...it's hurting business.

KEVIN

But...if they know we are lying, what's the problem? We lie too well?

BART

It's the negative connotation ... the semantics. Here is what I propose.

Bart unfolds a cardboard stand and flips a sheet of paper over, turning it so all can see. Emblazoned across the page is the face of a cartoonish albino lion.

KEVIN

I don't get it.

MARTINA

I do! It's a White Lion.

KLINE

We have to shrink it.

BART

Exactly.

He flipped the page again, and the same image stared at them. This time there was text. The logo read.

"Little White Lion"